If there was something I never understood, it’s a prenuptial.
The very act of signing a prenup is that, in the event of a divorce, property, assets and finances get split up equally and in a manner agreed on by both partners in the marriage, a material metaphor for the breaking apart of a union. Yes, I pity the poor people who lost everything in a marriage because their spouse sucked em dry. But YOU signed up for that risk. You vowed to take that risk. And marriage is just that, a gamble.
You go into it with vows to look after each other. You damn well stick to it. I’m really sorry for all the people who married abusive spouses or gold-diggers, it is unfortunate. And yes a prenup would have been handy in those situations. But it ruins the concept of trust and security which are the very foundations a marriage is based on. How can you go into a marriage with the slightest inkling plus an ever-real document detailing each other’s wealth and how it’ll be divided in the event of a breakup? Some say you have to get pragmatic.
It isn’t about pragmatism, it’s about trust. That bit of paper to me is just proof that marriage vows mean nothing and that nothing is sacred.
I may not be religious but there’s something revolting about starting off a union together with legal documentation as proof that you have doubts you could go the distance together. I can see why you would do it if this was your second marriage perhaps, maybe your belief in its sanctity has disappeared for you. Maybe you need a whopping huge safety net. But as a soon-to-be-self-sufficient woman, with hopefully a fair amount of moolah coming my way (yes I did just say moolah), I would go into a marriage 110%, finances, wealth, everything. My partner would be someone I’d be responsible for and I just can’t see the idea of a divorce being in the background just as I’m about to get married!
I’m quite aware that prenups affect women as much as men these days. Knowing that, I still disagree strongly and personally with the concept of a prenup. I would never marry a man who made me agree to one or think highly of my partner for suggesting it.
No safety-netting with marriages please. Not for me at any rate.
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